Wednesday, February 20, 2008
i tink tis is e worst of e worst subjects i eva took, m5 n m9 plus a yet to come HI... i realli doubt i'm gonna pull thru it w/o bcuming a freak especially wen i have practically no frenz, no lunch partners, no1 2 talk 2 at all... mayb it wun b so hard if i had frenz dere... n wif all tt, plus fear of not making e m5 n m9 paper n having 2 pay if i flunk dem... plus my degree course's proj n upcoming exam... plus e planning n books i need 2 read... i've nv been so hardworkin so unwillingly in my life... i fix my eyes on e textbk n nowhere else, trying 2 force my brain 2 take in e words n understand dem... occasionally i drifted off to other thots n den back again... i flip thru e pages fervernantly tinking "aiya tis 1 i sumhow now 1 la..." same time so afraid of flunking it, but i can no longer push my brain 2 take in wat i dun understand... mayb if i realli flunked, it could b an indication from God that tis is not for me... bcos i juz haf 2 believe tt everytink will b iz bez arrangement from God to me... or mayb, i juz din work hard enuff... i do pray God sees me thru tis as all is not set yet, therefore uncertainties of e future still exist... still, i'm afraid... my faith is still not strong enuff...
~ Spirited Away ~
Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart
May I always be dreaming, the dreams that move my heart
So many tears, of sadness, uncountable through and through
I know on the other side of them, I'll find you.
Every time we fall down to the ground, we look up to the blue sky above
We wake to its blueness, as for the first time
Though the road is long and lonely, and the end far away out of sight
I can watch these two arms, embrace the light.
As I bid farewell, my heart stops, in tenderness I feel
My silent, empty body begins to listen to what is real
The wonder of living, the wonder of dying
The wind, town and flowers, we all dance one unity.
Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart
Keep dreaming your dreams, don't ever let them part
Why speak of all your sadness, or of life's painful woes
Instead, let the same lips sing a gentle song for you.
The whispering voice, we never want to forget, in each passing memory
Always there to guide you
When a mirror has been broken, shattered pieces scattered on the ground
Glimpses of new life, reflected all around.
Window of beginning, stillness, new light of the dawn
Let my silent, empty body be filled and reborn
No need to search outside, nor sail across the sea
Cause here shining inside me, it's right here inside me
I've found a brightness, it's always with me.
* TaLk *
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