* I've found e brightness,iz always wif me... *

wa today is realli v tiring... morning went 4 bxb, ask my dad drive me n my sis go onli he shout n shout, scold n scold, cant b bothered wif him... i mean if he realli dun wanna drive us then forget it la... i feel i'm beginning 2 hate him more n more... in e car he say 3 of us "bu xiao" (not filial)... i was like when did we say we're filial??? if we're not filial we sure will shout back at him 1 lo n yet we all kept quite n i cried... i juz feel sad... b4 we go, while eating breakfast i c him like nv eat breakfast so i ask him he dun wanna eat breakfast ah, n he actually scold me ask me shut up go eat my breakfast dun busybody... i mean if i not filial u tink i'll give a damn whether he took his breakfast a not huh??? i kept quiet all e way to bxb but silent tears were flowing, no1 knew... i decided i'm not gonna talk 2 him 4 as long as possible... when i got down e car i juz said bye 2 mummy... e air outside e car was soooo much beta... i could almost forget wat happened juz now... as usual i was late 4 e tutors meeting again but tis time huiling not dere so nobody say me... n today bxb dere's not many pple so i practically have no students 2 teach at all... i went off early at bout 10.45am 2 tian guo... i decided i dun wanna have a proper meal cos no appetite so bought some cakes n head 4 e bus... in e bus i realli got nothin 2 do, nothin 2 tink about so went back 2 tinking wat happened in e morning n cry again... wa i realli hate myself 4 crying so much these days... such a stupid crybaby... anyways, met zhengchang in e lrt but it was like nuthin 2 say between us leh... but still got talk a tiny weeny bit la... forgot 2 say, sl saw me walkin outta e mrt n she walk in... but i also nv c her... haiz i'm always almost blind while walkin... reach dere was like v weird cos i'm those kinda quiet quiet type dere... yea yea i noe i'm fake... iz almost like i got zhi bi like tt, i talk 2 no1, no1 talk 2 me... oh ok i'm saying when i'm in tian guo waiting 4 e performance tt time... iz such a long wait(a few hours)... shouldnt have left bxb so early then at least still can go wif my fren, dun have 2 go alone... stupid... sit inside e room realli v v awkward cos pple were dere busy putting makeup for e performance... i did e lightings so no need any makeups... lucky got ruifen n ??(i forgot her name) accompany me but tt wasnt gd either cos they always exclude me from e conversation cos i dunoe wat they talkin bout... but they were still nice anyway... ok for e performance, there were many disruption cos e female lead's mike not workin cos she didnt on it so no sound from her during 1 scene... for me everytink went well(i tink la)... they after tt went 4 e "campfire" 2 welcome e youths from taiwan... oh ya forgot 2 mention for my e other performance i went up 2 sing tt time when started i suddenly choke on dunoe wat n i wanted 2 cough so badly but i juz cant do it on stage so my eyes began 2 water... i guess i look weird cos imagine i open my mouth sing then no sound come out then i forgot e lyrics n my eyes r watering... n yet i was standing rite in e middle of e stage e 1st row!! oh no... i was sooo glad when it ended... ok back 2 e campfire... it was realli fun n i got 2 noe tis ger from taiwan called pei ru... she's 21 yrs old... she quite nice also la but was quite awkward also cos got nuthin much 2 say 2 each other also wat... so... juz sing onli lo... after tt deres also nuthin much 2 talk about n i guess pple reading my tis entry also dun wat i'm talkin about... haiz juz write lo... wa v tired liao... nitey...

# posted by icyash | 12:00 PM